WordPress Sucks: Impress Search Engines With These Alternatives

With the recent WordPress security vulnerabilities, hacked themes, exploits, and all sorts of madness floating around, it was only a matter of time before search engines started to pipe in and penalize “vulnerable” sites.
If your site is clean and clear, you have nothing to worry about, right? I don’t think so.
Considering that WordPress is so blatantly easy to install, configure, and get up and running, it has become the spammers choice for mass site deployment.
You only have to dig so deep to find services like LinkFarmEvolution and other mass WordPress posting services that offer to get your article “syndicated” to more than 5,000 websites instantly.
In essence, WordPress is a PC. Everyone uses it. With that, everyone is trying to exploit it for gain.
There are tons of other content management systems out there, the Mac’s of the CMS world if you will. Let’s start looking into some of them.
Note: You can fix most of these problems with WordPress by simply staying up to date, and, a variety of other methods which I will talk about at a later date.
For now, let’s talk about one reason why you should move to something other than WordPress: It isn’t WordPress and search engines will love your site moreso for not being WordPress.
Think about it: effort = reward. If you slapped together a website using a cheap theme and launch it on the web, do you really deserve to be ranked higher than someone who invested time and money into a designer, writing, and well structured thought out compliant code?
So here’s my short list of “CMS” or “blog” like systems that will get your website up and running almost as quickly as WordPress, without being WordPress.

• OctoPress: Sophisticated, made for hackers, and it has “press” in the name. What more do you want?
• Jekyll: OctoPress is based on Jekyll. You can even import your existing WordPress site into Jekyll using a script.
• Textpattern: Easy to use, very flexible, feels like WordPress.
• MovableType: Before WordPress there was Greymatter and MovableType. 
• FeinCMS: Django based CMS.
• Notepad (or TextMate): Yes, it isn’t a system, but sometimes hand coding is simply the best way to go.

By: Gary-Adam Shannon,

Now Google Could Make Your Wallet Lighter

Early today Osama Bedier Vice President of Payments announced through the official Google Blog that the Search Engine Giant had delivered on its May promise to create an app that would make the fat consumer wallet stuffed with credit cards look thin. Google Wallet opened its account on a limited scale with its first partner  Citi Master Card using Sprint and First Data. The tap and pay Google Wallet does not require you to use your phone and the Near Field Communication. ( Below Photo posted at GigaOm )

The video clip showing a demo of Google Wallet in action using a Sprint Nexus 4G phone, had a satisfied customer offloading his overstuffed wallet packed with credit cards, claiming ‘ it is serenity now’.
Google also announced that it will soon go full throttle after the required incorporation of ‘air update’ and further up gradation of software for the next roll outs. It confirmed that Visa, Discover and American Express have made available their NFC specifications that could enable their cards to be added to future versions of Google Wallet. It also introduced the Google Prepaid card, which can be funded with any existing credit card and added a $10 introductory bonus to early activators who would set up their Google wallet Accounts before end of the year.
Google Wallet had announced its intent to set up an open commerce ecosystem, a statement that has been differently interpreted by analysts. While most have taken the announcement at face value understanding that it was the ease of operation that Google was talking off, a few have interpreted it as an add on venture for using Google’s mountain of cash pile that exceeds $ 30 billion as of date.
They claim that Google could mean effectively that it would want to get into the consumer driven credit card market and enable interest rationalization in credit transactions for merchants and users, something that could give headache to the existing credit card companies. Whatever be the outcome, the Google Wallet business seems a promising diversification for the search engine giant in search of new avenues for its global domination plan.
By: Sandip Sen

What Might Google+ Improvements Mean for Marketers?

It’s been about 90 days since the Google+ project began and the proud parents of the bundle of joy are still oooh-ing and awww-ing over their 3-month-old. The site has seen more than 100 improvements, the most recent of which rolled out Tuesday. Let’s examine a few of those improvements and what it can mean to marketers.

Phone Hangouts

In a Skype inspired move, Google+ now offers live hangout streaming on your mobile phone. Only supported on Android 2.3+ phones with front facing cameras, this app is now available in the Android Market for download.

Broadcast Hangouts

Speaking to a large audience just got a little bit easier. The recent launch of Hangouts On Air allows you to interact with a large group of your Google+ buds, or just view as a spectator. There’s even an option to record your session.
Think we’ll see Google+ only webinars, free training sessions, and even live concerts? Of course!

Screensharing

Additional add-ons include screensharing. Need to teach a lesson, share photos, or whatever else might be on your screen? Hangouts now have the addition of screensharing to make your experience more seamless.

Sketchpad

Hangouts now come with the additional functionality of a sketchpad. Certainly will come in handy when you’re trying to show a client, friend or family member a concept that can’t be put into words.
I can see this helping with creative content projects like Infographics or ad copy: real-time mockup in Google+. Also – quite an entertaining way to play hangman with Grandma.

Google Docs

Google+ has finally integrated Google Docs into Hangouts. Work together on a project, update an editorial calendar with a client, or explain financials in real-time. Heck, even get your taxes done in real-time and see how the numbers compute with your accountant in a hangout. Connect with a freelance writer and see how they are progressing with an article, piece of ad copy, or project you have contracted them for.

Named Hangouts

Have a need to talk to others in a particular industry or with similar interests? Look for a public hangout about that topic and connect. Or create your own. This is a great opportunity for an up and coming designer looking to reach out to fashion bloggers, other designers, or to collaborate on designs to do so no matter where they are in the world.
Use these hangouts to meet up with a support group and invite others to join in on the conversation as well. Hold an online networking event and connect with prospective customers too. The possibilities are endless.

Hangout API

Something developers will likely jump for joy over is the basic set of hangout APIs being previewed. Building real-time applications for Google+ hangouts is now within reach. Games are certainly on the horizon for Google+!

Search

Certainly something you’d expect would have already been integrated into Google+ from the search engine giant, but search is now available. Relevant content and connections will show up in addition to relevant posts. Easily sort through and find content related to what you’re looking for.

Open to All

Finally, after 3 months, Google+ is available to all. Anyone has the ability to join, and over the course of the next few days the entire globe can join Google+.
Additional Updates on the Way
We certainly haven’t seen the end of Google+ updates. Some on the horizon include:

• +1ing comments from your iOS device 
• Improved support
• More personalization options

By: Kaila Strong,

The 4 Ps of Search Engine Optimization

If there is any one reality to SEO, it’s that there are winners and losers. There are certain qualities that are necessary for any winning SEO strategy that can be broken down into the 4 Ps of SEO: proactive, persistence, perseverance, and patience.

Proactive

Being proactive is fundamental to being a good SEO for a couple of key reasons:

Latency Effect Between Work and Results

Any SEO work done today likely won’t affect traffic or revenue today. When it comes to SEO there is a latency effect as new changes to your website or your off-site profile (backlinks, social activities, etc.) get indexed by the search engines and filter into the SERPs.
How long the latency period is depends on the situation. If you put up a new targeted page on your site that gets indexed quickly, you could indeed start to see some new traffic from new keywords within a day. If you’ve made a lot of sweeping on-site and off-site changes to your website, it might take a month to see the results you’re looking for.
The idea here is that it will almost always take longer than you would like to get the results you want from the activities you’re doing today, no matter how hard and smart you work. Think and plan ahead. Make sure you factor in the long-term into your day-to-day activities.

• Actionable tip: Use a calendar to plan all SEO activities ahead. Compare this on an ongoing basis against results tracking to make sure your plan is consistent with your SEO gains. This may also help you see whether you have space for innovation within your tactics.

Stay Ahead of the Curve

The other key point here is to be proactive as opposed to reactive – do your best to keep yourself ahead of the curve. Time and time again I see knee-jerk reactions to changes in the SERPs, and that is the worst thing you can do because new changes are made to the search algorithms all the time.
Firstly, you should have seen the changes coming and changed your strategy months ago. Secondly, if it’s already too late, you’re just going to need to accept reality and adjust your strategy accordingly.
You might be able to get back to where you were before, but it won’t happen overnight – sorry. Engaging in a huge flurry of SEO activity immediately following an algorithm update, for example, has a good chance of doing you more harm than good.

• Actionable tip: Meet with your team regularly to discuss the trends and whether your strategies require adjustment. Where do you see the industry in two years? Five years? Make sure your strategies are in line with long-term trends and are built to last. That way you’ll be more likely to ride out the future Panda-type algorithm updates with no trouble and stay ahead of the curve.

Persistence

SEO isn’t something you can spend a few weeks doing, and then sit back and watch the money roll in. In just about any given niche, several or even dozens of other individuals or groups are attempting to beat you.
In competitive niches, the competition is going to be doing something every single day to reach that goal. Unless you’re doing the same or better, you’ll simply fail.
You need to work every single day at something that contributes to your SEO success. That could be something as simple as publishing new content or developing your branding, but it should all be considered within the scope of your global SEO strategy.

• Actionable tip: Work harder than the others! The minute you stop working is the minute you stop winning, even if it takes a few months for it to become apparent.

Perseverance

No matter how strong your SEO strategy is, you don’t control the SERPs, the search engines do. What that means, fundamentally, is that you’re investing resources into something you have absolutely no control over. Yes, you can influence it (sometimes very heavily), but you can’t control it.
What that lack of control means is a high potential for volatility. Inevitably, you’re SEO campaign is going to have highs and lows. You might have huge successes, with money pouring into the coffers, followed by catastrophic losses that set you back months or even years (think of some of the Panda losers).
OK, those are extreme cases, but you need to be prepared to not always be winning, and to ride out the tough times. Those who persevere in SEO are those who eventually win.

• Actionable tip: Ensure that you are prepared for possible periods of no-growth or decline. Preparedness will help you understand the reasons behind the poor performance, which in turn will help you to respond faster and more effectively to get back on track.

Patience

This is maybe the toughest of all the Ps. No one is really patient, especially in business – everyone has bills to pay, executives to report to, investors to satisfy… considering that financial planning typically works on a quarterly basis, it can often be difficult to justify SEO spend in one quarter when results might happen the next quarter.
The fact about SEO is that results happen on their own timetable, and that’s just the way it is. Results sometimes come later than expected, particularly if you are taking a softer, lower-risk approach.
You really want results next month? Sure, go ahead and build 200 new backlinks this week with the exact same anchor text for the big-money keyword… and see what happens (hint: don’t do that).
Want to win in SEO? Create a solid foundation and gradually – patiently – build on it.

• Actionable tip: Take the evening off and smoke a cigar. You’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow and if you’re smart about it, the eventual payoff might be big.

By: Guillaume Bouchard

Understanding htaccess: Rewrite and Redirect

One of the tools available to system administrators that will work to make their job easier is their becoming conversant in .htaccess. This ability allows you greater control of your server's configuration and allows you to make changes without adjusting settings for the entire server. These changes are not only completed for the directories, but are picked up and used by subdirectories as well making your job easier and on the fast track to completion. Some favorite tools and tricks used by experts in system administration include redirects and rewrites.

Using Rewrites & Redirects

For redirects using optimal Search Engine Optimization (SEO) implementation, you first need to determine whether you want your redirects to point to the "www" or the "non-www" page of your website. It is crucial that whichever option you choose that you stay consistent.

This code below redirects non-www to www

Options +FollowSymLinks
RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{HTTP_HOST} ^yourdomain.com [NC]
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ http://www.yourdomain.com/$1 [R=301,L]

You can use this code sequence to direct any traffic from one website, a blog for example, and redirect it to another site permanently. This can be installed using this code:

RewriteEngine on

RewriteRule .* http://www.newdomain.com/ [R=301,L]

Another similar tool that is used frequently for redirects is using a 301 redirect:

Redirect 301 /formersite.html http://www.yourdomain.com/bloghome.html
Redirect 301 /formersite2.html http://www.yourdomain.com/folder/Security

This code sequence changes a simple website page into a secure one with the use of SSL, assuming you have a dedicated SSL certificate available. Customers will be secure in the knowledge that their personal information is safe, especially on an e-commerce website. To implement this, use this coding:

RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{HTTPS} off
RewriteRule (.*) https://%{HTTP_HOST}%{REQUEST_URI}

Setting Website Access With .htaccess

Concerns about website security cannot be overlooked in today's technological world. Using .htaccess easily controls who has access to any part of your website. This includes development, testing and administrative access. To accomplish this, initially it is required that a file is set up to install a username and password. To build this file visit (http://tools.dynamicdrive.com/password/) and use the following coding to set a password protection for a specific directory on your website:

AuthUserFile /home/dave/.htpasswd
AuthName "My Personal Login"
AuthType Basic

require valid-user

Disallow Hotlinking For Optimal Security

One mistake that should never be overlooked is to allow hotlinking on a company website. Hotlinking allows copying of website content such as videos or images and enables embedding it into another website. This pulls on your bandwidth each time the website loads. This is easily avoided by preventing files from being hotlinked and stops the hijacking of bandwidth by thieves by using the following coding:

RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} !^http://(.+\.)?domain.com/ [NC]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} !^$
RewriteRule .*\.(jpg|gif|bmp|png)$ /images/handsoff.jpg [L]

Error 404s And Custom Error Pages

Another major tool used frequently in the use of .htaccess are custom 404 error pages. This script sends visitors landing on a bad page with a redirect to a valid page. These pages typically include a sitemap and/or search bar rather than the dead end typically found on 404 error pages. By creating an error page that actually assists visitors, you will help avoid frustration and keep visitors returning. Building a custom error page can be done by using this code:

ErrorDocument 400 /errors/badrequest.html
ErrorDocument 401 /errors/authreqd.html
ErrorDocument 403 /errors/forbid.html
ErrorDocument 404 /errors/notfound.html
ErrorDocument 500 /errors/server.html

Learning to use .htaccess will give you the options you need to administer and control your website to provide great customer service and an efficient, easy to manage website.
By: Site Reference

'The Power of Google' Senate Hearing is Must Watch TV Today

People should be watching the Senate Subcommittee on Antitrust, Competition Policy and Consumer Rights hearing on "The Power of Google: Serving Consumers or Threatening Competition?" today. Executive Chairman and former CEO Eric Schmidt will testify along with a number of his competitors who claim Google has hurt their business. NextTag, Yelp, and Expedia will be represented.

The Power of Google

The UK Guardian thinks Schmidt will "argue the company offers a level playing field for rival products – and is increasingly facing competition from social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. He will argue that Google's position as the world's No 1 search engine belies a rise in alternative ways to find information online, pointing to Facebook and other social networks. Research from Nielsen last week showed that US internet users spend more time on Facebook than any other website."
Additionally, All Things Digital reports Schmidt will testify that “Microsoft’s Bing launched in June 2009 and has grown so rapidly that some commentators have speculated that it could overtake Google as early as 2012.”
What is being overlooked here is one is not the same as the other. Google isn't a social network - even with what they have on offer in Google Plus – it is a search engine. Comparing it to Facebook is like comparing radio and TV – true one impacted the other but they were different mediums.
Regardless, Google has prepared its own website, Facts about Google and Competition, which Google is calling a "viewer's guide" to the Senate Judiciary Antitrust Subcommittee's hearing. Featuring seven talking points, Google preemptively tries to spin the following topics in their favor:

• Google is a gateway to the web and controls what people see. 
• Google favors its own content. 
• Google's search ranking changes hurt a certain website or caused them to lose traffic. 
• Google deters other companies from innovating. 
• Google is hurting small businesses. 
• Google used third party reviews improperly for its Place Pages. 
• Google limits choice in the Android mobile operating system.

Startup search engine Blekko offered support to Google yesterday. In a blog post, "Blekko's not afraid of Google, why is Washington?", CEO Rich Skrenta noted that the products Apple has brought to market have done far more damage to Microsoft than the Department of Justice lawsuit they faced in the 1990s.
"The success of Google should be applauded on Capitol Hill, not derided," Skrenta wrote. "Let’s let entrepreneurs, technology and good old-fashioned innovation deal with Google. Consumers will always be the winners in that scenario."

How to Watch the Hearing

In the early days of television Senate subcommittee hearings were as popular as soap operas. "From the 1950s through the 1970s, televised Senate hearings played a major part in shaping public opinion on topics ranging from organized crime and alleged communist infiltration of federal agencies to the war in Vietnam and the Watergate scandals," the U.S. Senate site explains.
Sadly, yet realistically, we no longer keep that close an eye on our public and corporate officials. The major networks aren't covering it live – we'll have to see how many minutes it gets in the news.
If you want to watch the Senate is streaming it and cable channel C-SPAN3 will air the hearing live at 2 p.m. ET. I wonder what most of the monitors will be tuned to in Mountain View today?
I'll be watching and I hope they discuss their impact on the analytics market when they bought Urchin and started giving away a service numerous companies were making a living charging varying fees for.

What Will Be Covered?

Search rankings will obviously be the large focus of the hearing. Given Expedia is represented by counsel, the purchase of ITA will no doubt be front and center. Yelp will be able to tell how their information has been usurped and dropped by Google, while NextTag will be able to present their case for loss in rankings.
While Google addresses the U.S. Senate they are also dealing with numerous antitrust issues in Europe and have court dates in numerous countries.
"Today Google, like Microsoft then, is both admired and feared. Google has used the riches from its dominance in search and search advertising to expand into video distribution with YouTube, smartphone software with Android and Web browsers with Chrome. It has added online commerce offerings in local retail and restaurants, comparison shopping and travel, and folded them into its search engine, prompting complaints that Google is giving its businesses preferred placement in search results," the New York Times noted.
What they are missing is they are buying into those areas where their major advertisers are. That Google knows conversion numbers of successful advertisers cannot be denied, whether they use such information for developing programs and products is unknown.
Have the manipulated results for their own benefit? There are numerous types of articles on this issue. The fact Google laid a trap for Bing by manipulating their results shows they can do it... whether it is done any other time and for what reasons is the big question.

Must Watch TV

People in our industry need to watch this hearing, as should the generic public, to understand exactly what this company does. Their latest Droid phone ad even plays with the attitude of them taking over. We really don't need a Big Brother and this may be the start of the break up of a dominant force in everyone's lives. Either way, it is must watch TV.
by: Frank watson

Basic SEO for Facebook Fan Pages

Many have tried, and failed, to write a good post about how to SEO a Facebook fan page.
For example, optimizing the filename of your profile picture is one popular piece of advice that doesn’t really matter, considering Facebook just renames the file something like 198135_10150109366....jpg. Another popular tip: you should link to your main website from your Facebook page. Yes, you should for visitors. But this doesn’t optimize your fan page because Facebook just nofollows, redirects, and clusters your URL in a mess of code anyway.
So let's take a different approach to Facebook SEO today.
I want you to imagine that your Facebook fan page is your website – or another website for your brand at least. While it may not ever rank first for a keyword, you still want it to be optimized.
If you want to keyword optimize your Facebook fan page, these are the areas that actually pull SEO elements from your page's content for additional optimization.

Your Facebook Fan Page SEO

• SEO title: The name of your page plus | Facebook.
• Meta description: The name of your page plus the About description of your page, followed by | Facebook.
• H1: The name of your page.

This is like the search optimization of the homepage of your fan page / website. If you didn't consider keyword optimization when you created it, and you have less than 100 fans, you're in luck. You can still change your page's name.
Two things to keep in mind aside from search optimization includes:

• Branding: It may be more important to have your page as a recognizable brand than a specific keyword phrase.
• Appearance: Whenever you comment as your page, or people tag your page, your entire name will come up, so if you're page is Your Brand - Keyword, Keyword, and Keywords it might look a bit excessive (and lead to less tagging).

Your title can be as long as you choose, but keep in mind the standard length of SEO titles (70 characters) before getting too crazy. Also, since your page name is also a part of your meta description, you might not want it to make it too long and overshadow that.
To edit your About information to make a great meta description, go to your page and Edit Page > Basic Information, and fill in the About field with a 140 character description like you would with any website meta description.

Facebook Fan Page Updates

• SEO Title: The first 18 characters of your update.

If you’re posting a standard status update, the SEO title will be pulled from the first 18 characters (approximately 18 characters, sometimes a bit less). The following update by Search Engine Watch's fan page has a title of Yahoo Search, which is pretty good.

If you're posting a link to your fan page wall, you'll have an option to "Say something about this link..." – the first 18 characters of what you enter in this field are going to be the SEO title for the individual page of that status update.
If you don't post something there, the SEO title for your update will just be Facebook. Plus it won't take up as much real estate in someone's news feed, which means it will be less noticeable. So I would suggest that, regardless of whether you care about the SEO, you fill this part out when adding a link to your wall.

If you’re concerned about optimizing your updates while considering them as individual pages for your overall fan page / website (click on the timestamp for any update to see it on its own page), then you might want to consider sticking some keywords right at the beginning of your comment.
Using the above example, I could simply put the post category / main keyword as start the update such as Google Analytics and then write the rest of my comment. If I continued this trend with my updates, my fan page would have lots of "pages" underneath it optimized for my main keywords.
The best part is, unlike Twitter status updates that don’t go that far back, you can see your Facebook fan page updates at least two years – mine go all the way back to when I created my fan page, which was in February 2009.

Facebook Fan Page Notes

• SEO Title: The title of your note plus | Facebook.
• Meta Description: Your page name wrote a note titled the title of your note plus | Facebook.

Facebook notes – they don't get a lot of love anymore, but they do have a more controllable SEO title when you create them and, of course, they add to the additional "pages" underneath your fan page / website. Notes allow you to add lengthier updates to your fan page without having to take your fans offsite to get more of your content.
Some people use them to syndicate their blog posts on their fan page, but I find this feature is a little inconsistent. Unique notes, on the other hand, could add more value to your page.

Facebook Fan Page Discussion Topics

• SEO Title: The title of your discussion's topic | Facebook.

Ever wanted a little forum / discussion board, but don't want to invest in forum software? Facebook has an often-overlooked discussion board, with each topic giving you a little SEO title credit.

It might be a nice place for you to have discussions with your fans that they don't necessarily want on your wall. If you don't have one on your profile already, you can get it by going to the Discussion Board and using the Add to My Pagelink to add it to your pages.
by: Kristi Hines

How To Improve A Sites Conversion Rate

Building a successful and profitable site will ultimately depend on the amount of traffic your site receives. The content you produce and how much effort goes into promoting your site will help attract visitors and dictate the quality and how targeted that traffic is, but ultimately, how well your traffic converts  will be the deciding factor in whether or not you have a successful and profitable web site.

Conversion rates are well documented as being poor across the internet. Between  1 and 3% conversion rates seem to be an almost standard rate across the web. Calculating a sites conversion rate is relatively straight forward; If 2 visitors out of 100 convert then your site has a 2% conversion rate. Most marketers will accept this and then focus on increasing the levels of visitors to their site, which in truth is never a bad thing. But it is important to remember that it is often easier to increase a sites conversion rate rather than its traffic and here are some of the best ways of doing that.

The road to increasing a sites conversion rate lies with the traffic it already receives, how that traffic got to your site, what pages they landed on, the keywords they used and the pages they viewed once they did hit your site. To get a clear view of your traffic you will need Google Analytics and you will also need to set up goals, conversions and funnels for your site. The data stored in your analytics program will help to give you a clear picture of your traffic and what they are doing on your site. You will also get to see what actions lead to a conversion, the pages they landed on before converting and the content they viewed that prompted them to take the action that you wanted them to. Replicating the elements that are successful will help to increase conversion rates on other sections of your site.

Google analytics will paint a picture of why some visitors converted while others didn’t. Using another tool by Google called website optimiser will also help your conversion rates. Your Analytics program will tell you which pages on your site helped to convince a visitor to take the action you wanted them to.  Google’s website optimiser will tell you want elements on that page and in what combination will return the best conversion rate.

How to test?

If you are new to Google optimiser, then use a simple A/B test, this will allow you to test 2 versions of a page against each. Once you add the java script to the pages you want to test Google will begin to show the competing pages to your visitors and once it has gathered enough data to make a comprehensive decision on which page has yielded the best conversions you will have a winner.  A/B testing will allow you to familiarise yourself with how testing works and the processes involved, to move your testing to a new level you will need to test the different pages elements and what combination of these elements will work best and you can do this with a multivariate test.

Test every element on a page and test multiple versions of each element

Google will take a lot of work out of putting these tests together. But it’s very tempting to set up multiple elements and just let the test run. Unless the page you are testing gets thousands of hits a day you will wait a long time before the results of your tests are in. Keep your tests small and you will see results and improvements in your conversion rates much sooner.

Improving your conversion rates is usually a slow process and to do it successfully you will need to have in-depth knowledge of your site, the traffic it receives and what has convinced your visitors to convert in the past. Once you know this you can build on this success and further improve your conversion rate.
By: Site-Reference 

Avast Ye! Talk Like a Scurvy Pirate wit' Facebook, Twitter n' Google

This day is International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2011. Woefully ye noticed all ye pirates be speakin' a little different? Yarr, bein' a Monday, the grog fest be early this year, but yer mateys p'on the good ship Search Engine Watch wanted to give ye a jolly way to hoist the colors afore the moon haunts the seven seas. So, we made 'tis guide to be tellin' ye how to change ye Facebook blabber settin's to scurvy pirate speak, squawk on Twitter, 'n bring ye treasure huntin' on Google a wee bit more o' a ruckas.

Changing Your Language Settings on Facebook to Talk Like A Pirate

It's incredibly easy to change your language settings on Facebook. Simply:
1. Scroll down to the very bottom of the page and locate the Language Settings link, which will display the current language setting you are using.

2. Click the link and a dialog box will appear. Click English (Pirate) to change the language setting change and then click 'Close'. Shiver me timbers, Facebook is now all piratey!

A warning comes with this salt-blastedly savvy tip. Turning your Facebook account language settings to English (Pirate) is so funny that you may never change back your settings again. The hazard being that you grow an unnatural habit for calling your friends wenches and sea dogs, refer to your family as kin and robustly congratulating newly-weds for "gettin' anchored".
Not only could such antics be construed as rude, but speaking from experience, you might find yourself wondering why no one else 'gets' your rampaging witticisms. The reason is because changing your language settings only changes what you see - not everyone else's. So, unless you encourage your friends to change their language settings too (which I heartily recommend you do), you may find yourself sharing a giant in-joke... with yourself.

Squawking on Twitter

Twitter's language settings does not currently support English (Pirate). However, if you cut and paste your tweet into this nifty little website, Post Like A Pirate, it will automagically get translated into pirate-speak right before your very eyes.

Click the Twitter link and it creates the tweet for you. The embedded Bit.ly link takes a user back to Post Like A Pirate, which should help your followers join in the shenanigans. After all, it's no fun raving like a lunatic on your own, right?

Treasure Huntin' on Google Pirate

Google, "Tha Old Seadog", has always maintained a swashbuckling version of their flagship at Google Pirate, which now has gleeful translations of their (relatively) recently introduced universal sidebar and plusbar.
There are many other silly versions of Google to be spied here, but as yet, there is no Gmail theme for pirates. Yet, there is a ninja theme. This has proven to be such a carbuncle in the backside of pirate fans that some are petitioning Google.

One Dastardly Tip for Ye Blackbeard SEOs

For those of you who prefer not to run any risk of walking the plank, a fun way to celebrate International Talk Like A Pirate Day, could be to translate your hand crafted blog posts into English (Pirate) using the plethora of translation tools available (there are subtle differences between the translations).
However, if you are feeling a little churlish this day, then you might want to weird out the web analytics teams in your competitors crow's nest by linking to a piratey translation of their site. The linked translation will force a dastardly duplicate copy of the site to persist on some 'inferior' search engines, such that said site may rank well enough to get traffic from search phrases such as "Blimey, That's Good", "I Needs Ya Gold", and "Stab that Crustacean!"
Such a motherload of curious search terms will surely have those landlubbers scratchin' their bonces!
By: Jonathan Allen,